Chibi Thatch
by Justa Little Puppy
Summary: Thatch buys a cursed vase from a senile old woman. Innocent enough, right? Well, maybe if you take out 'cursed' and 'senile'. One weird thing leads to another, the vase is cut up, and then everyone is stuck with a kid Thatch. And kid Thatch is... kid Thatch. Can the Whitebeard pirates return their 4th division commander to normal? Or are they stuck babysitting the mini butt pain?
1. Chapter 1: Chibi Thatch!

**Puppy's Post It: Ive been with the One Piece fandom for some time, but this is my first story for it. Hope y'all enjoy! Ive seen so many stories with Marco or Ace being turned into a kid, but I have not seen any with a little Thatch. The plot for this story is so far really only half thought out, so it depends on the reviews I get if I even continue this, so if you like it please review! Even if you don't like it review too, constructive criticism is welcome! I'll give you dog biscuits, arf arf! :3**

**Disclaimer: Say it with me now, FAN. FIC. TION. Nuff' said.**

* * *

"Look what I got!"

The two commanders looked up from where they sat in the ship's empty dinning room at the grinning man who held some brown object in his hands. A vase.

"...A vase." Marco deadpanned, looking up at Thatch with a 'Why on God's good earth would I care about that' look. It was just a plain old, not even good looking vase. Thatch nodded eagerly, grin still firmly on his face.

"Where'd you get it? That thing looks like it came straight out of an ancient museum or something." Ace asked curiously, eyeing the indeed ancient looking item.

"From some crazy old woman." Thatch said a little too cheerfully for Marco not to wonder about his friend's mental health at that moment.

"Why are you happy about that? It's not something to be proud of, getting ugly vases from senile old ladies." Marco pointed out with folded arms.

"It's not just an ordinary vase though!" Thatch chirped excitedly. "The lady said it was cursed, and that it would bring 'crazy things'. It did that to her, she said she's crazy and she needed to get rid of it fast before it screwed her up more, so she said she was selling it really cheap. Just 2 beli for this thing! Isn't that awesome?"

"Your mentality doesn't need anymore damaging, yoi."

Thatch frowned with a mock hurt look on his face. "Wound me with your words whydontcha?" Marco merely rolled his eyes.

"It's really cursed?"Good old non-wounding Ace asked, standing up from his seat on the bench to get a better look.

"I don't know, but I do know now I got a place to put my hair gel. That stuff just always spills out in the little containers, so this will be perfect." The 4th division commander said, turning the brown vase over in his hands.

"I'm pretty sure vases are used for flowers." Ace said with a raised eyebrow at Thatch. Couldn't the guy use something else? He wasn't necessarily against the misuse of vases, but then again he had never misused one in the first place. He actually had never needed one. He just thought something else would be a much better hair goop holder.

"Whatever man, it's a hair gel container now." Thatch replied, looking at the bottom of the vase in curiosity. On the bottom the letter 'Y' was carved in a menacing blood red. Thatch tilted his head slightly at it but didn't give it much thought.

Ace just shrugged. "Okay then I guess. Still don't know why you want that old thing to hold your hair gel, but like you said, whatever."

Marco sighed. "You shouldn't buy stuff from crazy people though. It's far from smart."

"Marco why don't you call me when you stop being such a killjoy, right now I gotta go and wash this cursed baby out so I can put my gel in." The red head grinned widely, turning on his heel. "See ya!"

As he left Ace shrugged again and looked back at Marco with a mischief grin. "Seems like Thatch is busy, so let's continue, shall we?"

A vein on Marco's head popped and his eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "Ace, there is nothing to continue. It's not even remotely possible, so shut up about it."

"But you never know! Your head, your powers-"

"I ate a devil fruit yoi!"

"-It's only logic that your dad was a pineapple and your mother a burning hen! Tell me that makes no sense, just try, but you think about it first!" Ace's lips were twisted a bit as he tried to hold back his laughter at his own words and Marco's utterly annoyed expression at his persistence to continue the argument (Ace had of course initiated) they had been having before Thatch came back from his trip to the island they were docked at. He could hear someone in laughter hysterics just outside the mess hall, and it was obvious Thatch hadn't completely left yet.

"Just shut up, Ace. I've had enough of your stupid theory on my parents for one day." With that he stood up and gave Ace a well deserved bonk on the head using haki, then plodded to the half closed door of the exit and set the hair of the one on the other side on fire.

"W-WHAT THE HELL!?" While Thatch was now in screaming hysterics, running down the hall with flaming hair, Marco turned the other way and began walking slowly back to his room.

Ace rubbed at his head, a bump forming. He couldn't help the small triumphant grin that slowly formed on his face and the giggles. Annoying Marco was just too fun. Even if it cost Thatch some hair.

* * *

Thatch, the poor soul, was now sulking in the bathroom, looking at his hair in the mirror. "Damn you, Marco, damn you..." He grumbled sourly, reaching up a hand to gently cradle a drooping, scorched wisp of hair. The bucket of water he had thrown on himself hung loosely in his other hand, and he dropped it in favor of sighing and grabbing the vase he had left on the sink.

Oh he would get his revenge. Marco would rue the day he messed with Thatch's hair, _rue _it. Thatch would make sure of that. He hadn't just bought the vase because it was cheap and a good hair gel holder. When the crazy lady told him it was cursed, he had gotten ideas.

With the 'cursed' vase as a scape goat, he could go around and tell people that it was cursed, let them laugh and say it wasn't, then he would screw them over with a big prank and leave the vase in the middle of the destruction. That was sure to freak people out, and he was pretty good at the innocent routine.

Well, everyone else was off the hook now. Marco was officially going to be the only target of the 'cursed' vase for attacking it's 'master'. Marco would probably catch on easily, especially if he is the only target and had happened to have burned up the top 8th of Thatch's hair and turned many red-brown strands black, but whatever. He. Would. Have. Revenge!

The wet haired man cackled to himself quietly as he turned on the water and began to fill the vase up. He still needed to wash the thing out though, planning could come later. As the vase filled he grabbed a towel and began drying off his hair, crying dramatic tears as he thought about how ruined his do was.

Marco was lucky that Thatch still had a decent amount of hair on his head, had the fire burned it all off Thatch wouldn't even consider mercy. Thatch was barely considering it now. He was seriously contemplating sea-stone cuffing the 1st division commander to his bed and placing it in the middle of the deck in a bird cage, complete with a chicken outfit when he noticed the vase was full and starting to over flow. Turning off the water, he picked up and turned the vase upside down over the sink.

Thatch blinked in surprise. Nothing was coming out.

"..."

He turned the vase back over and looked inside. He could see the water inside. He tipped it to the left a little. The water rippled but didn't spill. He tipped it to the right. Same thing. He shook the vase up and down. Not so much as a drop spilled.

Alright. This was certainly... strange. Thatch slowly put his hand in the vase, having half expected his hand not to be able to go in, but to his surprise it did. He cupped a hand full of water and lifted it out easily. Spilling the water in his hand into the sink, Thatch once again turned the vase upside down and shook it this time. Nothing came out, like before. "Wha...?"

He blinked in confusion at the vase, and then surprise when the vase's bottom with the 'Y' disappeared. He looked into the hole left behind, seeing nothing but rippling blackness before all of a sudden he was blasted full in the face with the strength of a gun almost. The sudden spout of water made him stumble back and fall on his rump, the vase landing in his lap.

"W-what the!?" He spluttered, wiping water out his face and staring in shock at the vase. The vase, on it's side, was still a moment, then it's bottom returned and Thatch could have sworn he saw the neck of the thing turn upwards slightly in a grin. A mischief grin. And the grin stayed put.

"...It... It isn't...is it?" Thatch had a feeling that maybe the cray old woman hadn't been totally cray about the curse at least all of a sudden. That feeling grew stronger as the vase seemed to look up at him with that wide grin that said 'Your in for a lot you didn't pay for'.

"..." The once again wet haired man stared at it a moment, before he realized he was once again a wet haired man. Suddenly Thatch felt incredibly annoyed. "No... how dare it... if this demon vase thinks it can mess with me...!" He mumbled in irritation, glaring at the object.

The vase's grin faltered in incomprehension of why this guy didn't seem as afraid and freaked out as it'd like. Wait, no, that was crazy talk! The stupid vase wasn't grinning! Thatch had this thing not a day and already it was making him insane.

Quickly picking up the object he stood and looked down at it, a scolding tone in his voice. "Listen here Vase!" He was aware of how stupid he must look talking to this thing. "I don't know what your trying to pull, I honestly don't care, but you watch where you spray that water! I just dried my hair!"

The vase sweatdropped. This guy seemed to only be upset about his hair, not the fact that he was holding a cursed flower holder that was grinning at him and, well, cursed. The grin became a confused frown,(No it didn't! It WASN'T frowning!) neck coming together.

Thatch, honestly, had seen weirder things. He could care less about the vase itself now. He was really upset though that the thing had the nerve to wet his hair, right after he dried it too. It was annoying having his hair messed up, especially 2 times in the same day.

"You listening?...Whatever, at least your clean." He put the vase under his arm and towel dried his hair, then exited the bathroom, at this point accepting the vase as it was. Partially. He didn't like believing it made faces. Even still, again he'd seen weirder things. The New World had some crazy stuff, animals and objects alike.

Thatch was grumbling under his breath the entire time he was walking towards his room. Maybe he should be a little more concerned about the fact he had a cursed vase frowning (NOT.) under his arm, but he couldn't just leave his poor hair unattended. Entering his room, he put the vase on the desk and glared at it a moment, before turning around to go grab some hair gel.

The vase snapped out of it's stupor and decided that now would be a great time to show this guy he wasn't to be taken lightly. Inhaling air, which even the vase wondered why was possible due to it having no lungs, then making it's bottom disappear it exhaled the air hard from there, which produced a brief farting noise and gave Thatch the warning he needed to quickly duck out of the way as the brown item blasted through the air towards his head.

"Oi! Are you trying to break my head!?" Thatch cried, raising an eyebrow at it and now looking more amused then annoyed. Maybe it was. He'd never fought a vase before, and from what he's seen it do so far all it wanted to do was hurt him. This could be interesting.

The vase landed with a plop on Thatch's bed and used a well pressured puff of air on both sides to make it stand upright, then it's bottom returned and it stilled. Cursed or not, it was still a vase and had to act like a vase every once in a while. Though puffing out air and flying weren't very vase-y things to do.

Thatch stared at it curiously before he sighed, walking up to the vase. "Look, Vase, I dunno what your deal is, but if you have something against me, sorry for whatever I did. Wanna start over?" He gave it a friendly grin. He didn't feel right having a vase hating him as it apparently did.

The vase, Thatch couldn't even deny it now, straight up gapped. Like, the edge of it's neck was touching the bed sheets it was gaping so wide. What the heck's wrong with this guy? He was way way way way WAY, too calm about this whole situation then it was comfortable with. And he thought it was angry at him? He wanted to start over? The vase was cursed, it was just doing it's job! Cursing him! So why wasn't he trying to fling it out the window by now? Not that that would work, the woman had done that a couple times. It would just fly back and return when least expected.

In all actuality when Thatch had been walking down the hall he had thought chucking it out a porthole would have been the best course of action. Then again, he was not only a Whitebeard pirate, but the 4th division commander of the Whitebeard pirates. When situations like this presented themselves, he did not simply freak out and throw it into the sea. No, he would stick with this a while, see how things played out. He payed for the thing, after all. For all he knew, since the vase so far had been acting alive, he could find himself calling this vase brother (If Whitebeard wanted to have a vase for a son)! Thatch was a man who would jump at the chance to make nakama, even one as old and tacky looking as this.

"Well?" Thatch persisted, grin growing wider. The vase just sat there with that same dumbfounded expression on it's neck (It DOESN'T have an expression! You know what, he was trying to make friends with it for crying out loud, Thatch had already gone off the deep end).

When it didn't respond the burnt haired man sighed and grabbed a couple jars of his hair gel. "While you think about it, I'll just go ahead and fill you up, kay? You're probably gonna be a big help, so thanks in advance."

That being said Thatch smiled warmly at it and plodded over, unscrewing one of the jars. He cursed under his breath when already a bit of hair gel dripped out, and he wondered why the company put the gel in such horrible containers. He tipped the shallow jar to the vase's wide open neck and let the goop plop inside. He had put in at least 3 jars worth and was about to add the last one when finally the vase seemed to come to it's senses and snapped it's neck back to it's original position.

Thatch blinked. "You don't wanna hold anymore?" He asked the vase. The vase didn't move, and Thatch wondered how at some point he had gotten used to talking to it.

"Alright, if you can't hold anymore, then let's see now if your any better then those stupid original gel jars, yeah?" Thatch lifted the vase by it's neck up carefully with his right hand and tipped it towards his left's open palm. He waited a moment. Another moment. Another... okay, it did not take this long for his hair gel to tip out of something, especially a vase of this size, which was a little over small.

"Oi, your not gonna do that thing you did with the water again, are you?" Thatch asked suspiciously. The vase's neck slowly became a closed frown, and Thatch blinked once in a brief moment of failed understanding. Then it hit him.

_"Oh... Hell no!"_

"Gimme back my hair gel, buttwipe!" Thatch barked, shaking the vase up and down vigorously. This little piece of crap was planning on hoarding all his hair gel, wasn't it? Well Thatch was having none of that.

"Come on, spit it out!" He shook it harder, then suddenly he felt the vase become warmer, and the part he was holding sort of melted into his hand. The vase's neck turned to smirk at him evilly, attempting to be creepy and freak him out like it had intended too before in the bathroom.

"Le'go of my hair gel! And me!" The man with the vase currently attached to his hand shouted, turning to bang the vase over the drawer. Smoke, what the vase hoped to Thatch would be creepy, filtered out of the slightly parted opening of the vase and began to surround the human, though he payed it no mind. "Seriously! I swear I will smash you into oblivion if you don't unhand me and my gel!" Thatch growled and went to grab his sword that had been against his bedside. The vase practically scoffed. This guy must be getting desperate, probably gonna saw off his own hand. That would be a big success for the vase.

"I'm warning you Vase, release me and my gel!" The vase paid no heed to his words, it's smirk merely growing. Thatch grit his teeth and then shoved his powerful sword down into the vase's neck, avoiding his hand and cutting straight through the thing. The vase was so shocked it's opening pulled into an open mouthed frown and some hair gel dripped out like blood. It released it's melted like hold on his hand, falling with a thud on the ground. With couple more quick slashes the vase was in pieces.

Thatch stood, glaring down at the broken thing that was in a gooey heap of shards and gel. The vase was still, 'alive', if you wanna say that, but stunned. Then it broke out of it's stunned stillness and it's pieces began to tremble lightly. It could easily rebuild itself, so long as it's 'Y' wasn't broken, and it planned on doing so and taking revenge on this guy. Then it realized it couldn't do more than tremble. Because this guy had his foot on it's 'Y'.

"Ugh, I don't ever wanna see that letter in that color again, your a real jerk, ya know that Vase?" The vase could 'see', again, if that's how you wanna put it, Thatch raise his sword to shatter the 'Y' and effectively... 'kill', it. The vase, if it had teeth, would have grit them. It wasn't going to be destroyed without leaving a gift.

As the sword swung down the pieces began to emit purple smoke which quickly filled the room. The 'Y' was shattered almost at the same instant Thatch began to cough violently. What on earth was going on? He didn't have much time to ponder that, though, as he began to feel light headed, then eventually passed out, falling to the ground.

* * *

Marco, Ace, and a couple of there crewmates ran down the hall. They had all been gathered around Ace a couple halls down trying to draw stuff on his face when he had a narcolepsy attack in the hall, Marco had come to shoo them off (mainly cuz he wanted to do it and they were hogging all the spaces), and Ace had just woken when they heard shouting from a distance. In an instant it was recognized as Thatch, and it sounded distressed, so they were all immediately flying down the hall.

When they reached his room Marco swung the door open and froze when he saw the place currently emptying itself of purple gas. Thatch was no where in sight, and Ace was about to run right in and call for him without considering the gas could be poisonous when the last traces cleared up and they could see more clearly into the room.

"...Who...?" Marco murmured, staring at the occupant of the 4th division commander's room.

There was a kid, lying on the floor. He didn't look to be anymore than 6 or 7 maybe. About a minute after all the smoke cleared away and they could only stare the kid groaned and began to stir.

The child sat up with another groan, rubbing his eyes sleepily and blinking. He rubbed at his red head next and looked around. No trace of the vase that had just been vanquished was to be seen, and the kid's head tilted as he took in what was to be seen in the room. A bed, swords, a desk, some hair gel, a group of men staring at him, a chair, pile of clothes-... Wait. He turned his attention back to the men.

"...Who'er you?"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?"

* * *

**Puppy's Post It: Arf arf! There ya go people! I guess the parts with the seriously personified cursed vase could be considered a smidge of crack, cuz that's what it felt like to me while writing it, if you'd like. In case your worried this story will become like that due to the circumstances, no, there will not be any really important ocs in this story, maybe a couple random crewmates when necessary and pedestrians at best, senile old woman most, but no one with a huge role or will be OP or something like that. Never *shudders* -~- Anywho, this story is up just to see how you all will react to it. Don't expect frequent updates for a while if your interested, because not only is there school and life in general holding me back, but my dad is coming back from his work trip soon. The guy sees me on the computer for 30 minutes and he says he needs to 'limit' my computer time. =3= This is my first time writing for this fandom, so please tell me what you think! Reviews help motivate me! And I hope I kept peeps in character, arf! Remember, if you review, you get doggy biscuits! Arf arf! Yummy doggy biscuits :3**


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting Whitebeard

**Puppy's Post It: So! I should probably be doing homework right now. And my chores. But! This story was calling me :) I couldn't get Thatch-turned-little outta my mind, and then I saw the reviews and my motivation was soaring right up there with my inspiration, arf arf! Thanks reviewers! *Gives all of them a huge puppy-bear hug* :3 I'm glad you all like it, I sure like your reviews, whether there short, semi-short, have cool head canon ideas (I can imagine little Thatch following Marco around and wondering why he's so big now, that'd be adorable :3), Over excitement and rambling (two words that describe me XP) Or point out VERY NOTABLE FACTS (I KNOW RIGHT?! Poor Thatch needs more love, part of the reason I made this story XD) n_n" Now, on to what you all care about before I ramble some more! :P ... *Hugs all the reviewers again* XP**

**Disclaimer: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, One Piece doesn't belong to me~! :3**

* * *

"...Who'er you?"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?"

The addressed child flinched back a bit at the combined multitude of the men's barks, then stood up and grinned. "Me? Name's Thatch!" He looked up at them curiously, gears turning lazily in his head as he tried to figure out who these strange people might be. Better yet, where was he? He glanced around again.

"Thatch?" Ace muttered in confusion, staring at the kid. Behind him the few ordinary crewmates with him, like 3, began murmuring to each other.

"Said his name is Thatch?"

"Yeah. Where did this kid come from?"

"Better yet how'd he get here without anyone seeing?

"Did Thatch Taichou bring him onboard?"

"Why would he do that?"

"Maybe this kid is his..."

"I highly doubt that, yoi." That was Marco. Goodness, that particular group of men loved to gossip like school girls.

"How would you know?"

"I know because my IQ is higher than you can count, yoi."

The guy shut up then, though that wasn't true (he hoped, he had never considered himself bright in the first place) he didn't want to argue with the 1st division commander in case he got angry and burned off his hair. Ace had at this point walked up to the child in the room, looking down at him and brows furrowed with thought. Thatch (Though suddenly Ace thought he might be Thatch jr) just tilted his head at him.

"Well, who are you, mister?" The young boy asked, the smile never leaving his face. Ace stared a little while more, before crouching down in front of the child so they were eye-level. "My name is Ace." He said as gently as he could, deciding it best to deal with a child this way. "Wanna tell me what your doing here, or more so how you got here... Thatch?"

"And do you know where a different Thatch is?" Marco asked, walking up beside Ace and putting a hand on his hip. Finding out where this Thatch jr came from could come later, right now though Marco more wanted to find the original Thatch, who he assumed would be able to explain the whole situation.

"Uh..." The youngster looked up at him with a thoughtful expression. "I dunno any other Thatch. Jus' me Thatch. And..." Little Thatch trailed off, looking down.

"And?" Ace prompted with a rolling 'continue' gesture of his hand.

"...M'not supposed to talk to strangers..."

Marco and Ace looked at each other, then back at the kid. "Well you were introduced to Ace, so technically he's not a stranger. My name is Marco, so now I'm not a stranger either, yoi." Marco said slowly.

Tiny Thatch looked up at him uncertainly and Marco sighed. "Come on, work with us. You didn't see anyone with burnt hair around here, yoi?"

The lad shook his head. "No. All I've seen is the floor and you guys."

That made Ace frown a bit. "Hold on, how did you get on this ship?" He asked the child, looking at him closely. All he had saw getting here was the floor and them? That didn't make sense, he should have seen a lot more when he first got on. Or maybe that was just the kid not giving him enough details.

"Ship?" He looked around a moment, the port hole in the wall that let fresh ocean air in confirming what he had been told.

"...I dunno. I was jus' sittin' and mindin' meh own business, an' then this purplish smoke comes outta nowhere and then there's a creepy 'Y' and this vase then suddenly Ima here."The younger male replied with big arm gestures. Ace's frown deepened along with Marco's and the men behind him.

"What are you talking about kid?" Ace asked suspiciously. He didn't like the kid's description of how he got here. What did 'Y's, smoke and vases have to do with travel?

The kid frowned and stared up at him before shrugging and looking to the swords on the ground. "Are those swods? Can I see em?" He didn't wait for a response, bounding over. "Lookit, ima swodsman!" He picked one up and began to wave it around recklessly, though he kept his distance from the men.

"O-oi kid, Thatch, put that down! You don't know how to use it!" Ace reached him in 2 long strides and wrenched the sword out his hands, looking down at him with a frown. "You wanna kill someone?" Little Thatch shook his head. "I wasn't tryin to kill nobody, lemme see da swods Mister Ace!"

"It's just Ace, and that's not even how you pronounce it."

"Mister?"

"No, sword."

"Swod?"

"_Sword_."

"Yeah, swod."

"No kid, _SWORD._"

"That's what I said, swod!"

"No you didn't! Repeat after me, Sor."

"Sor."

"Ed."

"Ed."

"Put it together, Sor-ed. Sword."

"Swod."

"Damn it kid!" The child just giggled at him.

"Ace, shut up for second." Marco interrupted, pulling the frustrated young man closer to him by his arm. Ace looked at him with a raised eyebrow and looked about to say something when Marco leaned over and whispered something in his ear.

"Didn't Thatch say the vase he got was cursed, yoi?"

"Huh? Yeah but-" He froze. Then he understood. "...What are you..?"

"He said he saw a vase, and purple smoke, before he got here." Marco continued. Marco honestly was having trouble believing his own words, what he himself was implying, but it made eerie sense. Thatch just so happened to have bought a vase, one he had said was cursed, and when they got here the room had been carpeted with purple smoke.

Ace let that piece of observation soak into his head, then his own observation he almost didn't remember resurfaced suddenly. "There was... a 'Y', on the bottom of the vase..." Ace remembered when he had gotten up to see the vase better Thatch had been turning it over in his hands, and he had gotten a glimpse of the bottom of the thing.

Marco slowly released Ace's arm, looking at the kid who had resumed playing swordsman. The men behind Ace and Marco had finally stopped gossiping to look at there commanders suspicious features. "Marco Taichou? Ace Taichou? Eh, something wrong?" One finally asked. "Other than there's some random kid here?"

"Yeah..." Marco muttered as the child snapped out of his little fantasy to stare back at Marco in curious confusion. He and Ace were just staring, it was creepy... "What?" He asked after a while, taking a small step back.

"...Maybe this isn't just some random kid..." Marco murmured slowly. He walked up to the kid and looked down at him with arms crossed. "You said your name was Thatch, right yoi?"

Small Thatch nodded. "Uh huh, how you gonna forget already?" His face held one of childish fake hurt, an annoyed pout on his face.

That had to be him. Marco looked to Ace again, and Ace frowned a bit before looking down at the kid. "We gotta take him to Oyaji." He said, walking up and reaching out his hand. "Er, Thatch. I need you to come with us somewhere, kay?"

"Where?" Thatch asked, tilting his head.

"To see our captain. He should definitely see you."

Thatch looked at Ace's hand, then looked down. Ace blinked once and lowered himself a bit so he could look into the kid's face. "What's wrong?"

"...M'not supposed to go with strangers..."

Ace rolled his eyes. "Good thing there aren't any around, eh? Come on, kid." Thatch looked up at him again, staring a moment before grinning and grabbing his hand. "Okay! But you gotta promise ya won't tell anyone!" The child looked up at him nervously.

Ace just shrugged and nodded. "Sure sure, now let's go." Ace led Mini Thatch out of the room, followed by Marco who continued to stare hard at the kid in thought from behind. "Oi, you 3." He turned his head to talk to the 3 other pirates tailing them, who were still pretty in the dark about Ace and Marco's theory.

"I know you can spread information on this ship quicker and better than wildfire. Do me a favor and not tell anyone about this till futher notice? I think Oyaji should be the 1st... 6th to know we got some little kid on board, yoi."

"Sure Marco Taichou!" The men said at the same time, nodding their heads once.

Thatch looked back over his shoulder at them and raised his eyebrow, but didn't say anything and just looked around. Ace looked down at him as he walked, frowning at him and half hoping he was wrong. But then again, if he was, where was Thatch? Right now this kid was there only lead, and possible answer.

As they climbed the lower deck ladder up to upper deck, the child seemed to freeze on deck, staring at the handful of intimidating looking men who were laying about the deck. None of them had seen Miniscule Thatch, and Ace quickly stepped in front of him.

"Geez, glad there aren't too many people up here..." He grumbled as he began to side-step away, Chibi Thatch inching nervously behind him while Marco and the 3 crewmates watched them with mild amusement. Those guys were obviously drunk out of their livers, probably stole a bunch of sake from the kitchen. At first Marco had been a bit worried, but upon seeing all the booze bottles on the ground he couldn't help but find there caution funny as hell. He couldn't resist the smirk.

"Oi, come on baka, before they do see us." He walked up and grabbed both Ace and Thatch's arm, tugging them briskly behind them. Ace blinked and looked ready to protest but Thatch piped up before he could try. "What's with all the smelly hairy men lyin' around?" He asked childishly, big brown eyes looking up at him.

"They're just drunk yoi." Marco said simply. Thatch looked back at them and tilted his head. "Oh..." He looked around, spotting the large, better described humongous chair in the middle of the deck.

"...Who sits on that?" Thatch asked, pointing and half not wanting to know. Marco's smirk widened a bit.

"You'll find out soon enough yoi."

Finally arriving outside Whitebeard's room, the pirates got a bit nervous. "Er, so, who's gonna tell Oyaji?" One crewmate with short, dark brown hair muttered, folding his arms and looking around. Ace frowned. No telling what might happen if the powerful man saw his 4th division commander had become hardly more than a toddler. Looking down at him, he wondered how this kid would feel about that tower of a captain inside. It was obvious this kid, if he really was a shrunken Thatch, didn't know them. It was probably just his naievity that had allowed the kid to have been corropurative after some coaxing. What were the chances he wouldn't freak out and bolt as soon as he saw Oyaji?

"Oyaji?" Thatch said questioningly, looking up at them all. "Our Pops." A different crew mate with spiky really short black hair elaborated. "And our captain." The not so bright sandy blonde crewmate continued.

"No duh, you called him Oyaji, I wouldn't have been able to figure that out on my own." Thatch's voice was dripping with sarcasm, and Marco lifted an amused eyebrow. Many kid's his age were blunter than wooden swords. "Jus' don't get what ya mean by our. You all his kids?"

"Yup!" Ace grinned down at him. "Everyone on this ship, actually!" The youngster thought back to the men he had seen sprawled on the deck, and considering just the deck's size itself there had to be lots of people. "...He must be a busy daddy..."

"Everyone on this ship aren't even half of them though, yoi." Marco said. Thatch's eyes grew huge with curiosity, and Marco smiled a bit at his awed look. "Really?"

"Yeah, were-"

"Whoever is outside just come in already!" A loud, slightly annoyed sounding voice boomed from inside the room. Thatch jumped a foot and stared at the door in surprise.

"Er, yes Oyaji!" Ace called back. Marco opened the door slowly, and immediately he and Ace were pushed inside.

"The commanders can explain!" The 3 ordinary crewmates said at the same time before speed walking, practically running away. "Idiots..." Marco muttered.

"Explain what?"

The second division commander turned his attention to the giant of a man in the bed, his captain and all his IV'ed and oxygen tank needing glory. Normally when he went full gear like this he was trying to take a nap and the nurses had been all over him about it, something along that line. It was unpleasant enough having all that junk in him, the least they could do was let the man have some peace while he slept. Loud whispering and stuff like that outside his door didn't help, most of the time just made it clear he wasn't gonna get any sleep for a while..

Whitebeard looked down at the 3 of them, expression thoughtful when his eyes landed on the brat who had his jaw on the floor staring up at him. "Who is this?"

"It wasn't our fault!" Ace said quickly. "Thatch was the one who bought the vase!" No way was he gonna have a single second of this craziness blamed on him, just to be safe. He mentally decided he would eat all the food the 3 bakas who had ran away got for the rest of the day.

Whitebeard looked at him, eyebrow raised skeptically. "I haven't the faintest idea what your talking about, but now I know it's probably your fault." Then he looked to Marco, eyebrow lowered to a questioning arch now. The blonde man sighed.

"Ignore him Oyaji. There's no one to blame, I think, except possibly Thatch. You see he bought this cursed vase, and I guess he took it to his room, and then suddenly we heard screaming so we checked it out and this kid was in his place and he was no where to be seen. Long story short, I think the vase shrunk Thatch into that kid." Marco stated calmly, looking into his father's face and gesturing to the child.

Whitebeard stared from him to the kid dragging his jaw on the ground still, more confusion on his moustached face. "The kid even said his name was Thatch." Ace added, pointing at him. "This kid is seriously all that's left of him. Though I did NOTHING to cause it so don't look at me, just reminding ya Pops, thanks."

The child finally lifted his jaw a bit so he could speak. "How... how many times do you fall through floor boards in a day?" He asked quietly, staring at him. "You look like you could move a mountain with rope, mister..."

"Gurarararara! I can! I wouldn't need rope though, brat!" Whitebeard laughed, grinning down at the much smaller figure. The boy's shocked features relaxed almost instantly and he grinned back."That's so cool! Ya must be really strong!"

Whitebeard 'Gurarara'd' again. "Your da cap'n? Nice to meet you!" Thatch chirped, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Meh name is Thatch!"

Whitebeard calmed himself enough to really look at the boy again. He really did look like his 4th division commander. They had the same bright brown eyes, except this pair bigger, and the same reddish brownish hair. The difference in hair style was something to look at though. Instead of the bread loaf like pompadour hair, the child sported something like a very short, slightly curled at the tip ducktail. The child's hair was also not as thick as older Thatch's. Aside from the absence of the scar around near his left eye though, and the dirty white dress shirt and black shorts, he still looked very much like Thatch; especially with the long yellow cloth tied almost too tightly around the kid's neck.

"Oyaji," Ace said, raising an eyebrow. "What do you think we should do?"

_"If you belive us..." _Ace thought after a moment of silence, in which the child spent staring mesmerized at Whitebeard's mustache. "You look like ya gotta white banana on ya face..." Thatch murmured. Whitebeard just laughed some more, though calmed a bit faster then before.

"Hm... I suppose we'll find a way to get him back to normal sooner or later. No sense in worrying too much about it now." Whitebeard looked down at Thatch again and smiled softly. How he loved kids, and even if this one was his 4th division commander turned chibi, he didn't care. Still a kid. And still his son. But something wasn't quite right.

"Thatch, do you remember what happened... eh, before you shrunk, apparently?" The kid tore his attention from the mustache to look the much older man more in the face. "Kinda. I went to sit down, purple smoke came, 'Y', vase, and I was here." The child's brows furrowed in thought and Whitebeard could tell there was more to the story, but decided Thatch was having trouble remembering.

"I don't think he knows about being a division commander..." Ace informed Whitebeard, though the man had already come to that conclusion in his mind. Thatch blinked at him. "D'vision commander?"

"Yeah, you were a division commander for the Whitbeard pirates, had your own squad and stuff, but apparently you lost your memory. Or you really are some random kid, but at this point it's unlikely."

Thatch's eyes widened. "Pirates?"

"Yeah. Pirates, yoi." Marco answered.

"You guys are pirates?"

All the older room occupants nodded.

"... YOU'LL NEVA TAKE MEH ALIVE!" With that he gave Ace, who was unfortunately the closest, a swift kick to the nether regions before bolting out the door screaming bloody murder. Marco and Whitebeard could only blink while the 2nd divison commander fell on the ground in a tight ball with a pained wheeze. Logia user or not, a kick to the balls is a kick to the balls.

"...That looks painful." Marco said non sympathetically, looking down at him.

"Shut.. the hell... up..."

* * *

**Puppy's Post It: So what'd ya think peeps? I hope it wasn't disappointing at least, I tried meh best but I could only work on this at random times, mostly at night, when my dad couldn't bug me -_-" If your wondering why I added descriptions of those 3 random crewmates, or why I wasn't totally clear on the entire situation, well, you'll find out soon enough, arf! I was looking up some pictures of Thatch and found a couple with him as a kid, but just so you know my description of him is different from the pictures. I did that for a reason, so keep it in mind, arf! ;) Anywho, I gotta go, it's late and I have uber loads of homework to do... Read and review, you get biscuits! Arf arf! ;3**


	3. Chapter 3: Vase Island? Uncreative much?

**Puppy's Post It: Arf! Uber glad for all the awesomely awesome reviews! So far this story is going pretty well,** **according**** to you guys, and I thank ya kindly for the feedback, arf arf! Many of ya think Thatch is adorable! That means I'm doing a good job :D Also people, though I don't think you care much, I edited the last chapter slightly and the summary! Later on you'll see, as a matter of fact in this chapter you'll see why a butt pain is a good description of him, arf! Actually I dunno if that one is good either... ugh, that last bit in the summary had me thinking for a while, maybe I'll change it again if I think of something better :3 Anyhow, hope you enjoy! And I hope I kept everyone in character, arf! n_n"****  
**

**Disclaimer: One Piece is not mine, if it was Ace and Thatch would still be alive... Oh, what am I saying, Ace IS still alive, and so is Thatch, and Sabo, and and-... Gol D. Roger! Yeah, those guys ain't dead, Oh Oda your so silly *laughs insanely* 8D**

* * *

Marco sighed. Whitebeard had told him and the recovering Ace to tell everyone they came across on board about Thatch's...predicament. Though the majority of the crew was greatly confused about why the fourth division commander had shrunk, they dutifully helped to try and find the kid. It was already evening, though, and there had hardly been a sign of him; thus the reason for Marco's annoyed exhales.

The blonde was tired, having been walking around searching all afternoon, and the painfully waddling idiot who had tailed him hadn't done much to help either. All Ace did really was rant about how he was gonna burn off the kid's balls once he caught him, and how if Marco laughed his would be next.

Dinner had come and gone, and Marco didn't even get a moment's rest then. He only got a spoonful of rice in his mouth before someone yelled, "I see him!" And the whole place was in chaos. Marco hadn't actually seen him due to all the people in his way, but from what he had heard the kid had been tiptoeing past the open dining hall door and managed to not only escape the hundreds of men trying to squeeze out the door at once, but somehow was able to grab a sword from his(?) room. Now they not only had a kid on the loose, but an _armed_ kid on the loose. Joy.

Marco was currently trotting down a hallway, scratching his stubble and sighing once more. That kid had better be found soon... it was, what, 7 something already? And they had started searching around 4? How could one child hide from a ship full of pirates _on _the ship full of pirates for so long?

Marco let out what may have been his hundredth sigh of the day as he opened the door to a storage room he knew he had been checked already at least 4 times. That kid was moving all over the place though apparently, so he decided there was no harm in searching there again.

The first commander slowly pushed open the door and padded into the dark room slowly, glancing around at the high stacked crates that came a little over his head. The phoenix zoan hadn't even bothered to ignite his flames. He felt the kid probably wasn't here, Marco'd checked this area too many times to-

"Is that a piya'pple?"

Marco froze. The murmur had been soft, but even still he heard it and recognized it immediately. Turning on his heel, the blonde stood on his toes and put a hand on one of the crates to look at the top. A pair of large brown eyes blinked back at him.

"...It has eyes...creepy..."

Marco's eyebrow twitched once. "I'm not a pineapple, yoi. Get down from there, everyone's been looking for you." Thatch grinned slightly at the older man but didn't move.

"Why shud' I get down for you? I'm not in da mood to walk da plank taday." Though his voice was heavy with sarcasm and humor, the undercurrent of distrust in Thatch's voice could just be made out and Marco sighed for the a hundredth and one time.

"Look kid, no one plans on making you walk the plank, or hurting you at all for that matter. We're all just tired of this wild goose chase. Come on, you weren't like this before you knew we were pirates yoi." Marco told him, reaching out his hand to the child. He still made no motion to move.

"Yeah, cuz that's before I knew you was pirates." Thatch stated matter of factly.

Marco resisted the urge to waste his breath on another sigh and reached out his hand further, beckoning to him. "We weren't trying to kill you or anything before you knew we were pirates, yoi. What makes you think things have cha-" He was cut off by the sword glinting by the child's side, now lifted and prepared to come down on his hand.

"Back off, piya'pple pirate, or I cut off your arm." Thatch said boldly, a small, triumphant smile on his face as he held the weapon over Marco's outstretched limb.

"...You shouldn't play with swords, brat." The blonde murmured in response. He knew Thatch wasn't going to do it. The kid was bluffing, trying to scare him off so he could run away, Marco knew. The child's acting was betrayed by his ever so slightly twitching smile and straining hands that were trying not to tremble, though they did a little anyway.

"Be quiet, pirate. Dontcha know the person with the weapon is always in charge?" Thatch inquired with a tilt of his head.

"Sure. Then go ahead and slice me, yoi." Marco said with a smirk. Thatch blinked once, obviously caught off guard before snorting.

"No thanks. I'll have mercy on ya, but just this once. Go hit ya'self wit'a brick, say I threw it at you, and by the time you're awake ta tell I'll be long gone kay?" Thatch's smile grew as he talked, becoming a smirk of his own. He obviously thought he won. Well, Marco was about to shove reality in his face.

"Thatch," Marco began with a sigh, "relax. Like I said before, no one wants to hurt you, yoi. Come down and we'll sort all this out, alright? You don't need to protect yourself. I promise." Thatch blinked at him, caught off guard.

"..."

They stared at each other for a while, the kid's face brimming with indecision. After a couple seconds Thatch gave in.

"...Heh, so I'm not gonna walk a plank if I give myself up?" Thatch chuckled nervously, pulling the sword back a bit.

"Don't say it like that, yoi. Your making it sound like were taking you prisoner." Marco huffed as he reached the rest of the way up the crate and grabbed the child by his collar, lifting him off the box and holding him in mid-air.

"Ahahahahaha..." Thatch chuckled again, rubbing the back of his head. Marco rolled his eyes and tugged the sword from Thatch's grip, holding it at his side as he turned and began to trot out of the room.

"O-oi! Pu' meh down!" Thatch cried indignantly as he flailed his arms and legs.

"And risk you running off again? Not a chance, brat." Marco told him. Thatch looked up at him, an annoyed pout on his face.

"Stupid piya'pple..."

"Damn it I'm not a pineapple!"

* * *

"That's really Thatch?" Vista murmured.

"He's so small now, it's almost ridiculous that he used to look like this." Izou crouched down to be eye level with him, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah, our Thatch was pretty tall. This kid looks like he's just teetering around toddler." Haruta mused.

"Shuddup, I'll get taller, just you wait!" The topic of near everyone's thoughts and conversations shouted, glaring around him.

"Yeah, you do yoi." Marco chuckled. The blonde had not too long ago taken the child to the kitchens, where many had been checking the pantries and cupboards, and had planned on getting the hungry (He guessed this from the random whine of "Ima hungry! You got any eats, piya'pple?" "MY NAME IS MARCO!") boy something to eat before anything else was done.

Vista, Haruta and Izou had been among those searching in that area, and were at the front of the small crowd surrounding him. "And you said a vase did this to him Marco? Sounds a little, you know, not possible." Izou said as he reached out and ruffled a very unpleased looking Thatch's hair. The little duck tail was ruffled into an unruly mop, but the child didn't seem to care.

"Yeah, but it's honestly the only explanation, yoi. As soon as he's done eating I'm going to try and find out where the woman who sold Thatch the vase is, and maybe she can help us change him back." Marco replied with folded arms.

"Hm. I don't suppose Chibi Thatch would have any idea where this woman might be due to his shrinking?" Izou asked as he pulled his hand away and chuckled when Thatch's eyebrow's knitted together.

"Why ya gotta say 'Chibi' Thatch? Meh name is _Thatch,_ lady." Thatch grumbled.

Izou glared slightly. "I'm a guy." He sighed.

Thatch was silent for a good 5 seconds before: "EHHHHHHH?! Y-YOU'RE A GUY?!"

The cross dresser frowned. "Yeah. I dress like a girl. Gotta problem with that, brat?" Izou said, brow twitching dangerously.

"W-well..."

Marco noticed the sixteenth division commander's annoyance from the start and decided he should intervene before the kid got him more upset. If it had been an ordinary grown person by now they would have at least been in danger of getting pistol whipped, so Marco estimated this child would get murderous and very uncomfortable glares to the back of his head.

"Thatch." Marco said, giving the kid a warning look.

"What? It's just, I've never seen a guy look so pretty in makeup before."

"..." Everyone blinked at Thatch. Of all the reactions they got when someone accidentally thought Izou was a woman and found out he was a man, they had never heard anyone say that.

"...Thank you." Izou smiled and patted his head. He decided he liked young Thatch a lot. Marco was the only one who noticed the child's shoulders sag a bit in relief, and he knew Thatch had guessed he had been sailing dangerous waters.

"You're welcome Mister!" Thatch chirped, grinning up at him.

"It's Izou. Don't call me Mister, it makes me feel old." Izou told him gently, his ego throughly stroked by the unexpected compliment. People didn't compliment him much, at least not look wise. It made them feel too awkward. Never sure whether to say he was handsome or beauitful. Even good felt weird. "Oi! Someone hurry up and get this kid some food! He's been waiting for half of forever!"

At around the moment this was shouted, a cook came hurrying out of the pantry, carrying a couple bread rolls. Stopping by the stove he filled up a bowl with leftover soup, then took them to a table and put them down. "Sorry, Taichou." The man murmured, glancing at Thatch curiously.

Izou led the child to the table and sat him down. "Alright Thatch. Hurry up and eat."

Thatch didn't need to be told twice. The kid quickly stuffed a roll in his mouth, hardly chewing, then downed half the soup and half another roll in record time. He was no D though, so that was the extent of his rushed face stuffing as he tried to swallow all that down his little throat.

Haruta sweatdropped and handed him a cup of water. "Jeez, kid. He said eat, which includes tasting the food. And leave yourself some breathing room for crying out loud."

Thatch swallowed a big gulp of water and manged to wash down the food in his mouth. "Sorry, but M' jus' hungry." He said breathlessly, smiling at her widely and rubbing the back of his head.

Marco rolled his eyes as Izou grabbed a napkin and began to clean the soup that had dribbled down Thatch's chin, earning grunts of protest. "So what? The food isn't running away, yoi."

The kid laughed, then went back to eating, slower this time. He hardly got two bites in his mouth though when the kitchen door slammed open and in marched a man who looked like he was ready to murder.

"You!" He hissed, glaring at the kid and pointing a finger in his face. Everyone in the room could feel the anger radiating off of the second division commander in dangerous waves. He was obviously pissed.

"Uh... I remember you! Ace right? Hi! Want a ro-" The kid cut himself off, jumping up from is seat and shooting in between Ace's legs. He aimed to dodge around legs and get out the door, but was caught and pulled back by Marco who had been expecting this.

"Lemme go! He's gonna kill meh!" Thatch squealed, flailing his arms.

"Relax, yoi. He's not, I won't let him." Thatch stopped flailing at his words but was still fidgety and giving Ace nervous glances. Ace was in return giving him a dangerous glare. Marco already knew what he was thinking.

"Ace. You can't burn off his balls. Let it go, yoi."

"Why!? He deserves it!" Ace barked, still glaring at the child.

Izou frowned at him. "And _why_ does Thatch deserve to be castrated? You can't blame him for anything older Thatch did, Ace." He said in a scolding tone, assuming that was the reason for his anger. Thatch had been turned into a child recently, correct? Izou doubted he could have done anything to piss Ace off this much in such a short amount of time.

"He's not." Marco smirked. "He's just mad because this Thatch kicked him in the nuts."

Izou'd been wrong.

This immediately brought snorts and roars of laughter, which made Ace even more angry and his shoulder's ignite. Thatch's eyes widened, and instinct kicked in quickly. He reached out and grabbed the small tankard of water set out for him, heaved it up, and flung it at the raven haired male.

What followed was very stunned silence. Ace stood there, eyes shadowed, wet and with a bump on his head. Chibi Thatch was oblivious to the tension and pulled himself free of Marco's now considerably looser grip, plodding up to Ace with eyes filled with concern. "You alright?' He asked, poking Ace's arm. "You were kind of on fire."

The room exploded into even more laughter then, drawing the attention of some outside as they roared. Haruta was practically rolling on the floor, Vista was guffawing with another crewmate who was at the same time trying to hold him up, Marco snickered loudly and Izou was banging his hand on the table while howling like a hyena.

Thatch looked around himself, confused. "What's so funny?" He asked with a pout.

"Thatch..." Said person looked up at Ace, who was giving him a murderous look. "You have a death wish, don't you." It wasn't a question. Marco calmed himself enough and grabbed the bewildered Thatch's arm, pulling him back.

"Ace, Ace, calm down. I promised him he wouldn't have to fear for his life here. Don't go threatening him, he didn't know, yoi." Marco said, though his smirk made it very hard for Ace to relax.

"Fine." He growled out, still glaring at the kid who was still very confused, inching behind Marco's leg.

"Well, I'm guessing you're done eating, right Thatch?" Thatch nodded quickly. "Good. Then let's go out and find that woman, yoi."With a quick glance at Ace Marco turned and led the child outside, being wished luck by still chuckling crewmates as they filled others in on what happened.

Ace could feel the laughter about to start up again, the looks he was getting were proof enough, and he decided that Marco and Thatch would enjoy his company. "Wait up!" He called, hurrying out of the kitchen full of chortling pirates.

* * *

"Does it hurt when you go on fire?"

"No."

"Do they use you for da stoves?"

"No."

"Have you ever burned off your clothes?"

"..."

"Ace?" Ace wasn't going to answer that. There had been that _ONE _time he had been in the kitchen of a marine base, accidentally spilled some oil on his shorts, ignited and is now paranoid the marines have a picture of him nude, but hey, it wasn't really anything to go into detail about, not even worth mentioning.

Marco smirked slightly beside him. He had been there.

"Can you stop with all the stupid questions?" Ace asked as they trotted through the dim but crowded streets of the town towards its outskirts. They had asked around for anyone who knew where they could find a crazy old lady, and were surprised when everyone they asked almost absent mindedly told them at the outskirts of town, on the cliff overlooking the ocean. This lady must have quite the senile reputation.

"But I've never met a dev'el fruit user before! I didn't even know what one was until today!" Thatch said, practically skipping beside him and looking up with sparkling eyes. Marco had spent the better part of the walk explaining to Thatch about devil fruits. "You're sooo cool! You can turn into fire n' stuff, and you're able to set people on fire, an' yous can't swim but whateva, do you're fire thing again!"

Ace couldn't deny Thatch's admiring of him was pleasing. The excitement dancing in the child's eyes and chirps of how cool he was were far from unwelcome. Even if he was trying to ignore the brat for kicking him where it hurt, he couldn't just turn down his grinning little fan. Ace gave a fake sigh of exasperation, then lit up his hand, letting the fire swirl wildly and watching with a smirk at Thatch's awed face.

"S-sugoi~!" Thatch stared with huge, glistening eyes at the Mera Mera no mi user's hand, not even watching where he was walking anymore and it was a wonder he didn't trip over a rock as they climbed the steep slope to the top of the cliff, where an old wooden house and a probably just as old woman in a rocking chair in front of it came into view.

Marco reached the old woman first. "Excuse me, miss." He began, stopping in front of her. "We're sorry to intrude, but we need to ask you something."

The old lady didn't even seem to register he was there until he spoke, and wrenched her eyes from the ocean she had been staring at to look him in the face, a gummy save for a couple yellow teeth grin splitting her face. "Ooooooh? Ask away, talking pineapple."

Marco's eyebrow twitched. "This woman's definitely crazy." He muttered as Ace and Thatch came up beside him.

"I dunno, I'm sure anyone would make that mistake." Ace said with a cheeky smirk, Thatch trying to muffle a giggle with his hands. Marco glared at him, then decided to ignore that.

"Did you sell someone a cursed vase this afternoon?" He asked with a hand on a hip.

The lady jumped up from her chair abruptly, leaning all up in Marco's personal space until he could feel her stank breath on his nose, and was doing everything in his power not to gag. After a short, but very uncomfortable silence the woman answered.

"...Yes."

"Uh huh..." Marco used two fingers to push the woman's forehead back, putting some distance between their faces. "Well, you see, the vase he purchased from you turned him into a kid," He gestured to Thatch, who was staring curiously at the old lady. "which I'm guessing is a result of the vase being cursed. The vase had been nowhere in sight when we found him like this, and so now we wanna know how to change him back, yoi."

The crazy old lady stared at him hard, looking him up and down. "So the vase done work it's magic on him, like I warned. I WARNED HIM!" She suddenly shouted, making Thatch jump and Ace narrow his eyes at her.

"Calm down, lady."

"BUT HE WAS WARNED, HAT DUMPLING!" The lady shouted at Ace.

"Hat dumpling?"

Instead of answering Ace the woman laughed maniacally before dropping to her knees and leaning her face closer than necessary into Thatch's. "So you wanna turn back to normal, dumpling?" The old woman said in a whisper.

"Tooth paste. Get some. Now. Please." Thatch replied with a scrunched up nose, taking a step back and ignoring the fact he just got called a dumpling.

"WELL!" The lady shouted, either ignoring that comment or just not caring. She stood up quickly and pressed her face so close to Ace's their noses were touching. "Gotta take him to Vase Island." She said in a loud whisper after a brief silence, pulling away slowly.

"Vase island, yoi? Are you sure that's even a real place?" Marco asked skeptically. Vase island. This senile old hag couldn't be serious.

"It's the only way, talking pineapple." The lady said firmly, grinning like the mad woman she was. "Ya gotta go, it's the only way to restore him. Thought Ya wanted him normal again? GO!"

Marco rolled his eyes as the old lady began to laugh again and dance in place. "Alright then. I guess we don't really have any other choice. So where is this Vase island?"

The woman stopped laughing abruptly and gave Marco a crazed smirk. "He knows." She pointed at Thatch without even looking at him, and the kid blinked.

"Huh? No I don't!"

"How could Thatch know where that place is?" Ace asked with a raised eyebrow.

"HE DOES! THOSE CURSED BY A CURSED VASE WILL EVENTUALLY FIND THE ISLAND IF THEY TRY! HE DOES NOT KNOW HE DOES BUT HE DOES!" The woman cackled, flailing her arms and whooping.

"You need Jesus." Thatch muttered, folding his arms. "And a very strong breath mint."

"EHEHEHEHEHE! THE FAIRIES HAVE RETURNED! WANNA PLAY TAG, DO YOU?! FAREWELL TALKING PINEAPPLE AND IT'S TWO DUMPLINGS! FAREWELL!" With that the woman ran and jumped off the cliff, head first into the ocean. Marco, Ace and Thatch just stared for a moment in bewilderment before running to the edge of the cliff, only to see the old woman swimming towards the horizon and laughing insanely.

"Oi! Lady! What are you doing!" Marco called.

"PLAYING TAG! EHEHE!"

"...Should we try to stop her?" Ace asked, looking at the first division commander questioningly. Marco shook his head.

"Leave her be, yoi. She'd probably just jump back in if we did anyway." Marco turned and with a sigh began to walk away. "Come on, maybe one of the navigators have heard of that Vase island' or whatever. That name sounds way too uncreative to be real though."

* * *

**Puppy's Post it: Oi! I tried, Marco! I just couldn't think of anything else! QnQ Remember when I said those 3 random crewmates were described for a reason? Well now I take that back :P I've decided I'm just going to do that with whatever random crewmate I choose, and then at some point maybe add in names. It'll be hard if I'm like 'Random crewmate told the other random crewmate he had just given Random crewmate a wedgie. "Geez Random crewmate," Random crewmate sighed. "Your pranks suck. Random crewmate could do better."'So it's better if I just name and give brief descriptions of them when I think I might use them again, arf! :D So yeah, just so you guys know. I still have an actual reason for Thatch's ducktail when he first came though! Arf arf, Please please please review peeps, reviews motivate me, and ya'll get doggy biscuits! Yummy doggy biscuits :3**


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